Happy Gay Pride!

Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

Do you think this sort of thing should be allowed?

No!

Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

Do you think Frank Lampard and Ronaldinho are having an affair?

No, Jessica. I think they're having disgusting messy gay sex. Check out this excerpt from Lamb Frampart's psychosexual autobiography "Totally Frank" (ONLYINTHESUN)

"After the game, Roni came over and we swapped shirts and embraced.
"It was a mark of respect and friendship. Then he smiled at me in this particular way and joked that one day we would be playing for the same team.
"I thought about what he meant."

Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

What do you think about prejudice?

I detest it, especially since people who are prejudiced usually say they aren't, and are genuinely ignorant enough to believe it. Like my friend Rob Roy, who's a deaf actor from Australia. He was almost booted out of his hotel last night because he had been on the piss and the staff complained that he was making noise. The hotel manageress used a term that really gets me going, talking about "those people" making trouble. I just wanted to walk up toher and ask: "When you say "THOSE PEOPLE," do you mean all foreigners, or just Australians?

(Check this out if you're bored!)



Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

What do you make of Zidane's sending off?

Well it's interesting. No one knows as yet what provoked him, but apparently it will be revealed on Canal Plus this evening. You speak French, don't you?

Speak French, Pamela? I do French!

Right. Of course. Well, if you read the article linked above you'll find some interesting thoughts on how different insults affect different cultures. Funnily enough, I was in a bar in Akureyri watching the final when the incident happened. I was outraged of course. Not because I'm against violence in sports. In fact I'm for it. Especially when French or German players are involved, preferrably on the receiving end. But I was outraged because I happened to be rooting for the other team.

Tee hee! I didn't know you played for the other team, Pamela? Fancy a roll in the hay?

Jessica, please! You're not my type. And let me finish. When the incident happened, I jumped out of my seat and yelled out: "CHEATING CUNT! CHEATING CUNT! CHEATING CUNT!" several times. And a man sitting a few tables from me tried to pick a fight. It turned out he was English, and my use of the dreaded C-word (What's the big deal, we all have one?) had offended him. Although as he was with a group of mates watching a game of football he didn't have the balls to say so, he just said something about me not using such language in a bar full of women. Now, if I had said the same thing about Zidane as Materazzi allegedly said to him, namely that his mother was a terrorist whore, I'm sure the Englishman wouldn't have been so offended. And conversely, if Materazzi had called Zidane a cunt, nothing would have happened. Interesting, isn't it?

Pamela? Are you sure you don't want to have HOT LESBIAN SEX?

Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

Do you think Akranes will go down?

Honey, everyone goes down for the right price!

Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

Why do people jump up and down and wave when the camera picks them out at the World Cup?

Well clearly, the football games themselves are not interesting enough, that people are reduced to watching the big screens to see if a picture of themselves will appear.

Pamela?

Yes, Jessica?

What do you make of the World Cup round of 16?

Let's see. Germany play Sweden today. I hope the Swedes win it for my friend Jessica.

Oh, thank you! You want them to win just for me??

No, Jessica. I meant Jessica Silvstedt. That's her on the right.
She's Swedish. Anyway I am not too hopeful as the Germans seem to be improving.

Yeah, and that Torsten Frings is hot!

Moving on... Argentina play Mexico this evening. That's a certain win for Argentina which sets up an intriguing meeting between them and probably Germany in the quarter-finals.
Then tomorrow we have England vs. Ecuador, England should win comfortably.

Yeah, and that Peter Crouch is hot!

Yes, Jessica. Whatever. But now for what I feel is the fixture of the round: Portugal vs. Holland. That one is just too close to call. The winner will face England in another close tie.

Uh-huh...

Then on Monday, Italy will beat Australia and Ukraine will beat Switzerland, setting up a mouth-watering encounter in the next round.

Yeah, and that Schevchenko is hot!

So you say. Finally, Brazil will beat Ghana (but not easily) and Spain will trounce France, which means Spain will be knocked out in the quarter-finals by Brazil.